The One I Used to Love

Chapter 15

|Lucius's pov|

I got the potion that will help me remember everything, I got someone to make it for me

And now I just stared at the vile wondering if I should do it or not

But I decide I will and down it all and immediately I pass out onto the floor

|Flash back|

I walk over to a girl she was a first year

"Filthy Mudblood." I say and she looked at me confused and walked over put her hands on my face and stared at me

"Ha now you got mud on your face." She says and I just stared at her shocked how dare she touch me

She then runs off laughing and smiling

"Y/n! Hey hurry up." Someone says and I just walk off not able to get her out of my mind, and her laugh out of my head

I hated how she was in my mind I wanted her out of it

|Flash back over|

I open my eyes and hear someone yelling my name worriedly as I close them again and then see another memory

|Flash back|

I set a gift on y/ns desk and run out quickly before anyone could see me

Just wishing I could see the smile on her face when she opens it

|Flash back over|

"Lucius can you hear me!" They ask shaking me worriedly and I then fall unconscious again

|Flash back|

I watch as y/n jumps onto Sirius's back and I glare at Sirius, I was jealous I wanted to be that close to her, I hated how I can't

I'll never be able to be with her, she's a muggleborn we can't be together ever, my parents would never allow her to be with me

I can't be with her so that's why I am dating Narcissa black because y/n could never be with me

|Flash back over|

"Lucius! What the hell happened can you hear me!" They ask and I close my eyes again too tired to keep them open and fall unconscious once again

|Flash back|

I see y/n and no why is she here where we are gonna ambush the order

Why did she join the order? She would be safer if she just went back to the muggle world and stayed there

Well I guess I'll have to fight her she didn't go back and now she's here fighting with the order, I don't wanna but I have to it's my duty

|Flash back over|

Someone was pushing me onto the couch but they were having trouble

"Can you help me Lucius at all? Like your so heavy what the hell." They say and I tried to move but I couldn't and I pass out again

|Flash back|

I run after Rodolphus Lestrange as I yell at him to stop

"You fell for her and I found out Lucius, maybe you should have kept your feelings for that mudblood a little more private." He says laughing as he walks over to y/ns parents house

I run after him as I yell at him to leave them alone

As he runs inside and I run after him and I find Rodolphus  laughing in y/ns parents room, as he said avada kedavra to both her parents before I could stop him

He then started to set the house on fire and I run around trying to grab y/ns stuff and put them in a box on the side of her house, I had to save some of her stuff

As I stand outside the house upset, I couldn't stop my crazy insane brother in law from hurting them

But then I was tackled to the ground and my eyes widen as I see an angry y/n above me

She started yelling at me

"I hate you Lucius malfoy I'm gonna kill you." She yells and I wanted to say I didn't I didn't kill them

But nothing came out of my mouth

The image of the hatred in her eyes killed me

Her looking like she was gonna murder me broke my heart

She's never known I love her and she never will know

But now she hates me

|Flash back over|

"Wake up Lucius what the hell has gotten into you, wake the he'll up." The person says as I felt a pain on my chest but it slowly left as I passed out again

|Flash back|

I stare at the spell I was reading as I imagined y/ns hurt face in my mind

I can't have it in my mind forever

It's destroying me

"Ok well in 13 years I'll slowly remember her and my feelings, because then she'd be happy and maybe I'll have somehow fallen for Narcissa, and y/n will be happily married to someone." I say as a tear rolls down my cheek

I fell in love with her and wanted to be with her so badly, I never talked to her really but I fell for her somehow I don't know how

Maybe it's her smile or how she keeps her head high and always sees the positive side of things 

I look at the picture I carry of y/n and smile at it

"I'll see you in 13 years y/n." I say as I take a deep breath and I cast the spell slowly forgetting all about y/n and my feelings I had for her

|Flash back over|

I wake up and see Narcissa

"We'll finally you kept mumbling her name, a healer will be coming over, you've been out for 12 hours Lucius." She says and I nod

"Well yes, I know I did it on purpose to hopefully remember everything, which I have." I say and she looked confused as I stand up

"Wait did you actually completely forget miss perfect muggleborn? You did tell me to hide this box of things you randomly brought home on that night, saying make sure I never see this stuff, so you made yourself forget her didn't you." She says and I nod

"Well yes Rodolphus burned down her parents house and murdered them in their sleep, y/n thought I did it and I didn't wanna remember her hurt face, it killed me so I forgot." I say and Narcissa nods

"Well that was dangerous you should know." She says and I nod obviously not caring

I remember her now I remember everything

'Well am I happy I fully remember? I don't know if I am.'