What if second chances come a second time?
Long ago, Hannah and Jonah called it quits. Long ago, Hannah stopped trying to make things work, and Jonah let her go. Long ago, Jonah mailed back all of Hannah's stuff from his apartment, and Hannah blocke...
Days turn into weeks and I wish I wasn't so surprised to realize that, for the second time, Jonah completely drifts away from me.
At first, I still tried. He'd still reply, taking his time to do so. But our short conversations completely flatlined, things going nowhere further than "How was your day?" and "Sorry for the late response" texts. This was almost like how things had ended last year, except it's a bit peaceful this time. A quiet disconnect, instead of terse calls and silent anger. I can still feel the space that slowly stretches between us. Only this time, I face it with acceptance.
I'm not gonna say it doesn't hurt, because it does, the second time around. And I swear I still tried, but it's hard when Jonah doesn't want me to fight for us.
I can't help but resent him a little bit more. For planting seeds of hope in my heart, that I had another chance to make us work. How cruel is it, to let hope twist its way into the depths of my chest, only to yank it out like it was nothing?
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
The apartment's too quiet for my liking—Tammy must've still be sleeping. Although, usually by this time she'd already be in the shower. I creep out of my bedroom; my steps slow and tired like they have been in the past few weeks. I'm not in the mood or have the energy to cook an actual meal—I haven't been in a while—so I just pour myself some cereal and milk, quietly eating my breakfast at the counter.
Tammy's room is still quiet when I walk past it toward the bathroom. It's still quiet when I return to my bedroom to change my clothes. I do my morning routine methodically: skin care, make up, hair, perfume. I pat myself down one more time, grab my bag and open my bedroom door.
And nearly walk into a small cake with red candles spelling out "20" on top of it, and big grins on my friends' faces.
"SURPRISE!"
I blank out for three full seconds, then spend the next two seconds doing a quick math in my head, before groaning out loud. "You guys."
I have been so out of it that I don't even remember my own birthday.
"Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday, happy birthday, happy birthday Hannah!"
Honestly, I thought my birthday was still sometime next week. But apparently, I've been spending the last few weeks in a haze, between assignments and moping around and everything. Plus, I haven't checked my phone since this morning. So, yay, happy birthday, me.
Tammy drags me toward the couch, while Freddie is still carefully holding the cake—it's a single slice of cake. Sarah and Keith each hold a giant silver balloon—Sarah holds the one shaped as number 2 while Keith holds the 0 one. 20. I'm already twenty years old. God, I need time to process this.
They urge me to blow out the candle and make my wish, and I try to smile. I blow out the candle and they exclaim happily, each giving me a hug and more happy birthdays. I offer them my own yay! and hope it sounds cheerful enough for them. It's not that I'm not grateful for the surprise, it's just that... I'm not in a really celebrating mood.
"You guys could only afford a single cake slice?" I muse before shoving one forkful into Freddie's mouth.
He yelps. "Is your intention to feed me or to choke me with a fork?"
I give him a toothy smile.
Tammy answers, "Well, that's just the appetizer. We have a tight schedule in the morning. But we're bringing in the full cake later tonight."
I furrow my eyebrows. "Tonight?"
She stares at me flatly. "You don't actually expect to spend your birthday here in your bedroom watching Grey's Anatomy reruns, do you? Of course we're going out tonight to celebrate it."
I try not to groan again. I love them, I do, but I really am not in the partying mood. "Guys..."
"Nope, we won't take no for an answer. We're going out tonight—I'll pick out the place, you dress up all pretty, and Freddie pays for everything. Capiche?"
"Wait, why me? It's her birthday!"
"'Cause you're the closest thing to a billionaire heir among us and we only let you hang around because of your money," Tammy answers in a duh tone.
I smile at their antics and finish the cake. Smooth cheesecake with gooey strawberry jam and a crunchy, cheesy base. My favorite. My friends are the best and I love them, even though they are all a pain in the ass.
Later that night, I do as Tammy asked—got ready and dress pretty for a party. Truthfully, my mood hasn't picked up since the morning—or the days before that. All I really want to do is lie on my bed and binge-watch Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D or something, not play dress-up and celebrate a lonely birthday.
Well, no, that's not fair to my friends. I'm not lonely—not with this crazy group of people who keep calling themselves my friend, who all woke up very early this morning to give me a surprise birthday cake, who all organized this birthday celebration for me.
I check my phone one more time, pulling down the notification bar and briefly scrolling through the unopened messages: Happy birthday, happy birthday, happy birthday, Hannah; wish you're having a good one! Yet, none came from the person I've been waiting to hear from all month.
I grab my coat and meet Tammy in the living room as we wait for Freddie's car to pick us up. I force a smile on my face, trying to keep up my happy spirits for the sake of my friends, all the while wondering what they have planned for my birthday tonight.
