Without Me || Jikook

37. Why him?

Jimin took all the time he needed to think wisely about everything, literally without considering his emotions. Focusing on the sensible facts to figure out what was the right thing to do or even feel.

The young man tried all the possible ways to be comfortable and at ease. Because obviously he didn't want to give in to himself. Besides, sitting or, at times, pacing around the house all alone couldn't be helpful with anything at all. Specially not for his own sake.

Days and days went by just like that.

Aimless. And that only drained the young talented artist.

The designer finally quite believed that the issues he has been through and so Jungkook won't fix themselves. It can't! And nothing would ever feel right again if he himself won't do anything right about it.

In other words, problems won't solve themselves if Jimin was going to do nothing, but watch his life darken with emptiness and lack of motivation to do anything at all; expecting some kind of 'miracle' to happen and give him Jungkook back.

That's why he decided to see Joohyun. The problem, The model herself. Exactly today that he wasn't as vulnerable, before he ever hesitate. It just felt necessary and like the only right thing to do at this point.

Jimin also wanted to overcome that vulnerable part of him forever.

For one fact, Jimin couldn't expect Jungkook come over to him again after their last time seeing each other. But things won't be okay either if they'd have a second chance to converse, since Jimin knew Jungkook was more vulnerable than he himself was.

And If Jimin had to see Jungkook looking desperate again he probably wouldn't handle the situation any better than he did last time. So he chose not visit Jungkook either. He was sure of his new decision, since something kept telling him that Jungkook won't give him the answers he needed.

Jungkook probably didn't have them anyway. But regardless of that, Jimin also wanted to avoid another misunderstanding or argument.

This time, today, he was certain of what exactly he wanted to do and didn't doubt it.

Jimin was just done with that sickening feeling. The feeling of being lost and so empty.

The feeling of being vulnerable.

So there the fashion designer stood. In front of a building -wearing a long dark brown coat above a light brown turtleneck, along with blue jeans- today that the clouds were slightly rainy and the breeze was mild, yet cold. Pretty much a perfect weather to relax at home, and maybe sit by a window, holding a warm cup of coffee, absorb the rain and enjoy it.

Jimin looked up at the sky and just imagined how beautiful it'd be. But today he learned he was a real loser like Joohyun said, and of course he didn't want to be.

In fact, he had the right to make some effort, since trouble started only after Joohyun crushed on Jungkook, Just exactly like how Seulgi told him. Like it wasn't his fault at all.

But however, Jimin's only wish was to heal things now, nothing else.

The young man could be just slightly unfair to bring a new person in his love life, even if what he had with Taehyung was more than just that. Taehyung was his best friend much more than just a benefit, Yet he was totally awar of what he really wanted. He was at relief since Taehyung completely understood, and also accepted that Jimin won't choose him as a person to replace Jungkook.

Taehyung was the main reason for every smile on Jimin's face anymore. All the fresh courage and confidence inside Jimin, it was The kim gave him. Yet, that still didn't mean they had something unconditional. It didn't mean Jimin wanted to get over Jungkook.