Pitbabe the series [Book 2]

Feel Alive [babexcharlie] Part 5

It was morning when Charlie woke up. He saw he was not in his clothes, and suddenly, panic gripped him like a vice. His breaths came in shallow, erratic gasps, his mind swirling with questions, and tears welled up in his eyes, blurring his vision. Tremors shook his hands uncontrollably, and he bit his lips frantically.

Charlie: I... don't know... Please, let me go... I have to work...

His words came out in fragmented whispers, choked by the overwhelming fear tightening his chest.

Babe: What's wrong? Why are you acting like this?

Babe's concern only heightened Charlie's panic. He felt trapped, suffocated by his own thoughts and emotions.

Suddenly, Babe wrapped him in a tight embrace, but it felt like chains constricting around his chest. Charlie struggled against it, desperate for escape, but he couldn't break free. He felt the warmth of Babe's arms, but it offered no comfort, only amplifying his terror.

Babe: I know, Charlie. I saw nothing, okay? Now, calm down. Look at me.

Despite Babe's reassurances, Charlie's heart raced faster, pounding in his ears like a deafening drumbeat. His vision tunneled, focusing solely on the impending catastrophe he imagined.

Charlie: No, no... You saw those scars... Now you're going to HATE me like others... No, this is bad...

His voice cracked, filled with raw desperation and fear, his entire being consumed by the panic attack gripping him mercilessly.

Babe: Charlie.

Babe's voice sounded distant, muffled by the haze of Charlie's panic-stricken mind. But as Babe hugged him again, Charlie felt a glimmer of calmness

After a few minutes, Charlie fell asleep. Babe didn't know, but he could tell that Charlie was really tired. Tired of his life, tired of himself, tired of the people around him. Everything. His mind was still not able to recover from the things he saw before.

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Babe woke up early in the morning and saw that Charlie was still in his office clothes. Seeing a blanket nearby, Babe smiled and then placed it on the couch.

Babe went to get water to give Charlie a sponge bath. As he went to see Charlie, he noticed Charlie was running a fever. Babe took off Charlie's shirt, only to see his hands filled with scars. Scars that were given by Charlie to himself. They were deep cuts, new, old, very old. There were cuts on cuts on cuts. They were not finishing.

Babe, seeing this, froze on the spot. Suddenly, his hands stopped. He saw that behind a really normal-looking or just overworked Charlie, there was someone who constantly thought, "I should die. I don't want to live. I don't feel like a person anymore" type of Charlie.

Babe: Oh, Charlie...

As tears dripped down Babe's eyes, he quickly cleaned it, making him wear hurriedly, not able to see those scars. And that Charlie, who was as small as the palm of Babe's hand, did something like this.

Babe: What did the world do to your poor soul?

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As Babe placed Charlie on the bed again, his heart felt weighed down, as if he had done something really wrong and that he shouldn't have seen those scars. But now that he knows, it became his life's purpose to get the Charlie he wants to heal him from something he doesn't know.

The complete attraction from someone he was the opposite of was just different. It was as if this was now the only thing Babe wanted—to see Charlie full of life. He always wondered why Charlie was always so blank, so dead in the eyes, so lifeless. It was as if he was asking for life, begging for something he never had.

Babe sat down beside Charlie, holding his hands.

Babe: Let me help you heal whatever you are going through. I will heal you, Charlie.

As Babe got a phone call that he has a meeting, he said he is taking a leave because he is sick and that they shouldn't disturb him anymore. He then abruptly cut the call.

Babe: I'm sorry, I can't make it to the meeting. I'm feeling really unwell. Please don't disturb me anymore.

With that, he disconnected the call and turned his attention back to Charlie, who was still resting on the bed, seemingly lost in his own thoughts. Babe's heart ached at the sight of Charlie's silent struggle.

After a few hours, Charlie woke up, seeing Babe beside him, sleeping with his hands on Charlie's head as if he had slept while he was caressing his haIR.

Charlie slowly placed the blanket on Babe and then left.

Charlie: I'm sorry if everything made you uncomfortable. I am disgusted at myself. How will others react? I really hate this place.

As he left, Babe opened his eyes. He let him go because he knew that if he stopped Charlie right now, the only thing he would receive is Charlie being uncomfortable, and that was the last thing Babe wanted.

As Charlie walked out of the house, he went to his apartment only to find his brother at home. He saw that everything was broken and out of place, as if someone had been there to rob him. Charlie opened his apartment door to see this but didn't react. He just walked into the apartment as if this was never new to him.

Charlie's brother, Chern, spoke up: "Brother, I need money. Why don't you send me money? Are you crazy? Didn't you promise Mom to fulfill my needs?"

Charlie looked blank while his brother shook him to get the money.

Charlie took out his wallet and gave everything, every piece of money he had, to him without saying anything.

Chern: "Just this? What are you thinking? Am I a beggar? You can't even work a proper job, stupid."

Charlie: "I'll give you more at the end of the month. You should leave for university now."

Chern: "Why do you act like you don't have feelings, huh? So lifeless and emotionless. I actually hate even seeing you. But this is what makes me come to your fucking doorstep."

Charlie: "I know."

Chern left, turning the light off. Charlie fell down on his knees as he left. The darkness was comforting; the hurt was good. But the darkness felt right. As he looked around his broken, messed-up house, he laughed, seeing it like that.

Charlie: "This... this is so much fun. I love it. I love this. Give me more pain. I like this pain. God, it's working. The pain works every time. It works like magic." [HAHAHA]

Charlie's laughter turned into something twisted, a mixture of agony and amusement. It was the laughter of someone who had been broken beyond repair, someone who found solace in their own suffering.

He tried to scream, to let out the anguish building up inside him, but all that escaped his lips were choked sobs. Tears streamed down his face, but they brought no relief. They were merely drops in the vast ocean of his torment.

Silence enveloped him like a suffocating shroud, a slow poison seeping into every crevice of his being. It was a numbing sensation, dulling the edges of his pain but never truly easing it.

In the midst of his brokenness, Charlie found a strange sort of comfort in the silence. It was a familiar companion, one that understood his pain without judgment or expectation.

As he sat amidst the wreckage of his life, Charlie embraced the silence, letting it consume him until he became one with the darkness that surrounded him.