Why Wattpad Drives Me Crazy | ✔️

3| Over-Descriptive Idiots

Over-Descriptive Idiots 

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Name: Over- Describing Idiots

Also known as: ODI's

Commonly known as: such an amazing author omfg i feel like im in the story squeee!

Likes and Hobbies: Using thesauri, studying dictionaries, acting posh, making clichés not cliché anymore because they are so original, using commodious words when communicating. 

Dislikes: the fact that the word 'door' has no other synonyms, the fact that other stupid authors on wattpad use simpleton language and get so many reads (Wattpad readers obviously don't understand true talent)

Evidence on ODI's:

Exhibit A: The Morning Scene (or, as ODI's would refer to it as, The Ante Meridiem Tableau (and that's intended to be english, believe me))

I vivified myself as my exorbitant cellular phone tintinnabulated throughout my harbour. The coruscating diurnal course illuminated through the pulchritudinous cerulean valance. Circumspectly, I disspated my corpulate feet onto the inclement mezzanine nadir and haled my fatigued cadaver out of the tepid bassinet. Converging towards the door (DAMMIT! WHY THIS WORD ARGH), my cinereal orbs opened.

Description: 

What the author actually meant:

I woke up as my loud iPhone rang through my room. The bright sunlight shone through the beautiful blue curtain. Circumspectly (lol I honestly don't even know or remember what I was trying to write) I lifted my heavy feel onto the cold floor and dragged my body out of the warm bed. Nearing my door (Haha!) my eyes opened.

Notes:

This ODI is clearly stupid. S/he probably doesn't understand what s/he wrote because she's an idiot. 

And in this, we see that on their comment board, they aren't capable of speaking proper english and act like excited five year olds.

Exhibit B: An ODI's comment board

taylorswiftlover322111 _ says:

omg you are such an amazing author I love your description it's so real omg update pls pls pls

ODI replies:

@taylorswiftlover322111 _ awww thank U so much!!! Your* sooo sweet!!! Squeee!

1Dforever _ says:

I love this book!!! I hope harry styles is in it omfg

ODI replies: 

Hhahaha, you well* see!!!

*intentional

IwillUseBigWordsTooCuzImTheBestCritiiqueInTheWorld _ says:

I love how you vividly describe the morning scene. It is usually such a cliché in many books, but your interesting choice of words makes me overlook and ignore that. Bravo. Looking forward to more of your work.

ODI replies:

Gratitude, my futile subjacent compatriot.**

**But, when feeling threatened, ODI goes back to their trusted thesauri and uses bigger wordd*

Any Further Notes: Using big words doesn't always make you a good writer. If you've seen a little of yourself in my descriptions, maybe you can stop using that right-click button on microsoft word (you know what I'm talking about). Sometimes it's fine, but using it a little too much means that you lose your readers; you lose the meaning and context; and much more importantly...

*cue inspirational music*

...you lose yourself as a writer. Because it's not you writing, it's that stupid thesaurus that you seem unable to write without. 

So yea. 

Don't be an ODI, or you'll DMI. 

(drive me insane).

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