All Over Again

Chapter 54

Misha's POV:

I replaced the flowers in the glass vase with fresh ones on the side table. I went with roses and chrysanthemums this time. I don't think he liked the white lilies much. Smiling weakly, I turned to look at Ibraheem who was sleeping on the bed beside the table. At least, I called it sleeping. I felt my heart sting with the guilt and ache.

He was still in a coma. 37 days ago, once brother had transfused his blood into Ibraheem and the surgery had gone successful, we had all breathed a sigh of relief but it only lasted seconds before Ibraheem had a seizure attack. Everything had started to fade around me including the doctor's voice as he had broke the bad news to us all, 'Due to the excessive blood loss, the brain lost activity momentarily causing the patient to enter into a state of comatose. We don't know when he will regain consciousness.'

I don't remember much after that because I was bawling my eyes out and the exhaustion and shock had caused me to lose consciousness. When I had come to, my arm was bandaged and it was night time at the hospital. I had an I.V attached to my arm and I was laying in a hospital bed. That was the first night of Ibraheem being in a coma.

It still feels like yesterday but it is odd because every single day, every single hour and every single minute that has gone by has never felt so torturous. I blinked again, snapping out of the flashback I had gone into.

I dragged a chair and sat down on it, right beside his bed. One of the bullets had pierced through his lower lung from his back so they had to cut a part of his lung off to avoid sepsis. Another had cut through his thigh but fortunately it missed any major nerves so there was no paralysis. The third bullet hadn't touched him and I was grateful. The doctor had said he was saved by a miracle. Had we been even a few minutes late....I closed my eyes tightly as I pushed all the negative thoughts away.

I held unto his hand that had gone slightly cold and wrapped both my hands around it to warm it up. I kissed his palm before bring it down again but not letting it go.

"I miss you every single day. I miss you so much. I regret not being able to protect you back then. I wish I had done more. Please come back to me quickly, my jaan e jahan. It is really hard without you." I whispered softly, my voice breaking at the end as my dried eyes started to wet from the impending tears. "I love you so much. I wish I could tell you that again. I wish I could tell you how it is near impossible to go on without you."

Ammi entered the hospital room and I gave her a broken smile before wiping the tears with the back of my hand. She smiled back, it was a kind assuring smile.

"Have you eaten anything? I have brought you a fresh pair of clothes and your favorite food. Please eat something. You look weaker than before." Ammi told me as she squeezed my shoulder and I nodded feebly.

"Thank you ammi. I just miss him so much." The words left my mouth naturally. "I wish I could have protected him. He wouldn't be like this right now, if I had."

"Don't blame yourself. He did what he thought was right. He protected you just like you wished to have protected him. Don't let his actions go to a waste. He did it for you. So when he comes back and I know he will, tell him how much you love him so that he is happier and heals quickly." Ammi assured me again while hugging me tenderly. "Now go on, take a shower and eat something. He would want to see a healthy and happy wife when he comes around."

With that ammi unpacked the food on the table and handed me a pair of shalwar kameez. I held unto his hand for a little while longer before reluctantly letting go but not before I pressed his hand to my face.

"I will be right back, my love." I told Ibraheem who didn't give a response. Not a single movement. I dragged my feet to the attached bathroom and took a shower, letting the tears fall freely under the water. I took a shower as quickly as possible because I didn't want to stay away from him for long. I wanted to be near him, before my eyes all the time because I feared that I would lose him if I would.